Thursday, May 24, 2012

Better Than Thou, I laugh at you, hahahaha!

warning: the following post is kind of jarbled, because I came into this post with an abstract idea but no real plot to it. It turns into a bit of a rant, too. It's also full of gifs and videos and such. Move forward at your own risk.

Throughout everything and every where there are always people who think they're better than someone else. Or they're just gunna straight up hate.
found on tumblr
And the best you can do is sit there and laugh. I mean really, half the shit people say is ridiculous. Stephenie Meyer said of Anne Rice and any other vampire writer out there: "...I can't read other people's vampires. If it's too close [to my writing], I get upset; if it's too far away, I get upset. It just makes me very neurotic...I've seen little pieces of Interview with a Vampire when it was on TV, but I kind of always go YUCK!" (got this from Alice Marvels, I do believe. I don't remember, I had to find it in an email I sent to my friends). Oh boo hoo, other people write vampires and they're too similar/different! I'm sorry but, this is just drivel. And of course, Anne Rice came back with something more eloquent: "Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town ---- anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful."

But everyone's hit the twihate bandwagon at some point. Save for the twitards, which then was a hate on the twihaters wagon. But it's all hate!
again, found on tumblr
But it's not always people hating on books/writers. Like Squidward hates Sponge Bob.
more tumblr
And Sponge Bob is only his really annoying neighbor (I can understand his point of view, though! lol).

Some people just think they're so high and mighty that it's laughable, cause you can see through the paper thin argument.

But this post isn't about why haters hate, 'cause we all know that they do. And there's no real explaining it. Because usually it's just a pointless way for people to try and feel better 'bout themselves.
No, this is about what you do when those haters hate on you.

Haters can be random people we don't know, like the anons on tumblr (for those of you who don't know, there are people on tumblr who like to go around and send anonymous messages to people telling them they suck, they're ugly, they should kill themselves, and much more gruesome things). Then there are people we do know, like co-workers or customers who come in a lot. And there are those who are/were close to us who do it (I've heard of people whoa re still friends with people who hate on them, god knows why though. I've even heard of people's PARENTS being their haters, da fuq?).

No matter how self confident you are, no matter how much you can laugh things off, no matter how many times you chant that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you, they still hurt. And depending on how close that hater is or was, it may take longer to get over.

Personally, this is my take on it:
do I really have to say where I found this one?
People come, people go, the pain won't last forever. And that's why there's no point it gettin' all upset over it. They're good for a laugh. And you have to remember that they're just jealous of what you got.  You are better then all them haters out there. Haters are going to rip on you left and right, because you can't make everyone happy. Someone is always going to be upset. Always. You don't live your life the way they are? Ooo, you're such a child, you need to grow the fuck up! Hell, I am a child, let me live my life my way while I still have the chance to be young. Or maybe you're not their idea of skinny. Fuck it, enjoy that donut! And make sure their mouth is watering as you orgasmicly eat that donut! You are you, there is no better you out there!

Be proud of who you are, and those haters out there, all they can do is fuel your drive. You must be doing something right if they're so damn upset!
So, to any of my haters out there, I am better than this. I am better than you. Obviously I'm doing something to piss you off, and good! I enjoy my life, I enjoy the way I'm living, 'cause this is the only life I'm going to remember living (unless I come back as the Dalai Lama, which I highly doubt). You have a problem with it, good for you. I'll live my way, childish or not, and you live your way, as old as it makes you. I'm 23! I am a child! And I'm not in any rush to grow up! I have my goals and ambitions, and I am working towards those faster than you even know. You have no idea. You can't even fathom.

I have a connection with an agent, I have a connection with a costume designer, both of which really, really want to help me. What have you got?

Keep trying to bring me down, I will only come out stronger, and laughing!
mmhmm, tumblr
I am Jasmine, I love who I am, I love my life. I have the best friends in the world who will continue to laugh with me until the day I die. I'm a nerd, I'm immature, I'm mature, I'm a big sister, I'm a daughter, I'm a helper. I work hard at what I want. My dad supports me and has done more in 5 years than most dads do in their whole life. He even takes care of my brothers, and they're not his. My mom supports me. She's always been there for me and always will. She's my biggest role model and I will never be half as good as she is, but she's behind me no matter what I do and that's all that matters. My best friend supports me, no matter how slow I can be at doing things. My bosses love me because I'm a hard worker who never argues back and do everything I can to  make the job go quicker and easier. My co-workers love me because I'm fun to be around. My customers love me because I'm sweet and a hard worker and do all I can to help them with what they need. This is my life to live, my life to fuck up,  my life to better.

And I am better than you. I don't care what contests and little things you can stick to. They're pass times that can be ignored. What matters is what I do stick to, and that's all. So go suck an egg.
Rise above their shit, my readers! Remember that you are better than them, no matter how much what they say hurts. You are bigger than them. You are better than them. 

Comments will be disabled at this time. May decide to open them up later. Just don't feel like dealin' with the comments *shrugs* 

Friday, May 18, 2012

New Desktop

It's surprisingly good at it's job. Or at least for making me feel bad for not writing, lol


Monday, May 14, 2012

Welcome Graham Parke!

Unspent Time Launch Party

Get free books and win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch

Warning: reading this novel may make you more attractive and elevate your random luck by about 9.332%*
(* These statements have not been evaluated by any person of consequence!)

From the award winning author of ‘No Hope for Gomez!’ comes a collection of impossible tales. Permeating the cracks between the past and the present is the realm of Unspent Time; time that was allotted but never spent. This is where we find the stories that could have been true.

Such as the story of Kiala, whose caretaker disappears one day, leaving her as the sole Huntress to battle the giant octopi to feed her village. Or the revealing tale of Goki Feng Ho, the ancient Chinese art of decoding the meaning of car license plates. And the heartbreaking story of the man responsible for choosing the colors of the insides of your shoes. And let’s not forget the story behind Unspent Time itself, the metaphysical ramifications of which will leave the scientific community feeling mostly indifferent about it for decades to come…
Unspent Time is nominated for GoodReads Laugh out Loud book of 2012

For the launch of the new novel I decided to discount it to $0.99 for today (PC and eBook), give away some exclusive content, and raffle off two Kindles. All entrants will get:

  • An exclusive spin-off novelette (not available for purchase anywhere!)
  • Making of Gomez: behind the scenes eBook
  • Signature for their paperback or kindle edition
  • Chance to win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch

(Prizes can be traded for Amazon gift certificates if you already own them.)
Just email your receipt to to enter.
Each purchase counts, so stock up on birthday presents (for people you don't like that much, for instance) The discount ends today, but be sure to send the receipts no later than June 1st.

(Or order the books from any bookstore.)
Coupon code for today: ZB77D

And then get by ing about your purchase and another by mentioning it on facebook

Sound bites from Unspent Time:

“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“I didn’t actually want to do it,” Kiala told the boy. “The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”

“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”

Here's what reviewers had to say:

"A veritable page turner of nonstop laughs!" -- Reader Views
"An unputdownable read. a Coens Brothers' film in book form." --
“Extremely witty and clever writing.” -- California Chronicle
"A Party for your Brain!" -- Warren Baxter


Graham Parke is responsible for a number of technical publications and has recently patented a self-folding map. He has been described as both a humanitarian and a pathological liar. Convincing evidence to support either allegation has yet to be produced.
No Hope for Gomez! was voted GoodReads Funniest Read of 2010

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Hey, what's this?

A blog party? A chance to learn about a hilarious new book, and even win some stuff?

And it's coming here? Really?

Yes! Yes it is!

This month, award winning Graham Parke, author of No Hope for Gomez will be stopping in here to answer your questions, live, in the comments, as well as raffling off two Kindles, free books, and more.

So stayed tuned, keep your eyes here, and join in on the fun!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Stockholm Syndrome

I may or may not have mentioned this before, I'm not sure. But if I have, I'm sorry. If I haven't, then I'm going to talk about it again. Cause that's how I roll.

I have some weird likes. Serial killers, psychopaths. The top of my list, though, is Stockholm syndrome. I don't know why, but I am in love with this syndrome. It's kidnapped my heart and I have become it's slave (see what I did there? No? Aww...)

For those of you who don't know what Stockholm syndrome is, here's the wikipedia page. In short, it's when the kidnapped person begins to relate to and may even fall in love with their kidnapper. Doesn't even have to be a kidnap situation, a hostage situation can give the same results. I do believe that's actually how the syndrome got its name. A guy robbed a bank in Stockholm, Sweden and took all the people in there hostage. They were in there for a few days, I think, and when they were finally released, they all had nothing but nice things to say about the criminal.

I have always wanted to write a story about the syndrome, just never found a way to do it. But oh, it sounds like such a great topic to write about. Makes my heart do little flip flops to think about it (see? I told you it was a weird obsession). But back in 2008, there was this person who held a contest on deviantArt for NaNo. The premise was to write a 50,000 word fanfiction. I didn't hear about this contest until afterwards and all the winners were being announced, which is fine cause I don't write fanfiction anyways.

But that's off topic. When I looked at the news article on dA, the winner was a story called Stockholm. I went LE GASP! clicked on it like there was no tomorrow and began reading. It's a Frerard (Gerard Way and Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance slash) story and while I'm not a big fan of Frerard, I read it anyways, cause come on! It's about Stockholm syndrome!

So I read all 50,000 words in like, 3 days. Just ate it up (I then went to read the girls other Frerard stories and I will say, she makes me like Frerard, but I think it's because she makes then like her own characters rather than in the band and all that jazz). And it was so awesome! I'm still in love with it to this day.

After that, I still wanted to write a Stockholm story, but after reading that pile of awesomeness, how could I? And would what I wrote turn into basically a copy of hers? And if it didn't, could I even write something and think it any good when standing it next to hers?

I know, you shouldn't compare your stuff to others because sometimes, you just won't make it that far. Or you could be better, surpass the master and all that. But... her story is so damn awesome! I'll give you a link to it: super awesome fantastic story link. Just as a heads up, the prologue is at the bottom, then chapter 1 is at the top, then chapter 2 is at the bottom. You'll understand when you get there.

Anyways, it's like I've got stage freight. I want to write a story about this subject but... I don't know if it would be nearly as awesome! So what do I do... do I write one anyways, throw caution to the wind and say 'fuck it'? Or do I back down and just enjoy the stories like that around me (which are few, but I haven't actively looked).

What do you guys do when this happens to you? Has it ever happened to you? What was the situation? If it hasn't, what would you do, theoretically?

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